One of the most common questions on days like today is, what do you tell your kids. For starters, we have a very open and ongoing conversation about medical realities and implications of my health journey, so we process out loud with them on a regular basis. Today, as soon as we got back from the hospital, we all climbed into the bed and I began by reminding them that God reigns and rules both, when we receive good news and when we receive bad news. He doesn’t love us more or less, but He is present with us in all of it, and we can always trust Him. So we told the kids that the tumor is growing into a very dangerous part of the brain and that this might cause worse side effects on the left side of my body, and that we will start more chemo and maybe radiation. We told them that I might get sicker in order to try and make me better. We asked them if they had any questions about this, and then, we listened to them. Ultimately, we trust that even my journey with brain cancer is divinely chosen to be a part of their journey in life as well. So we pray for God to give us the strength, and we pray for God to heal because we know He can and He does both. Then, we tried not to suffocate them and let them talk about it at their own pace. I am not prescribing this for everybody else, I am just honestly answering the question what do I tell my kids. The only thing I would advise is to ground them in the truths that God is in control of all and that God is good. Those are anchors for all of life. And then, show them that you believe it even when it is hard.
I have been married to a beautiful and godly wife for 17 years and yet there are some things that have been more clearly revealed through this difficult journey with brain cancer. Today, I watched Karla process this news and its implications for her. I watched her joyfully accept that this meant greater responsibility in caring for her husband who would have greater physical limitations while battling with cancer. I watched her joyfully accept this as the journey that God has us on together. I watched her patiently push me around in a wheelchair, wipe my drooling face, and oversee the workers putting handicap accessibility bars in our bathroom; things that I wish were not part of her daily reality. Today, I watched her tell her principal that she could no longer come back and do the job she loves (Latin teacher) and the school she loves (Westminster) because she needed to prioritize caring for her husband and family and couldn’t do both well. Today, and just about everyday on this journey, I have watched her put others’ needs before her own; a beautiful reminder of Christ’s love for us as we see in Philippians 2. So, although today’s news has been hard, and I am sure that the journey forward will be harder, I am thankful that in the mist of the journey God opens up our eyes to see deeper. And today I have been reminded of the beauty of a godly wife. Thanks, Karla. I love you with all my heart.